pussyhands:

what if our use of emojis gradually becomes so extensive that we actually circle back to writing in hieroglyphics

officialsamwinchester:

do u ever put on a shirt and look in the mirror and go

"no. this does not represent the full potential of my boobs"

skooth:

slugsgiving:

i hate the neologism “partner” for “person i’m dating”. i have no intention of being a cowboy and nobody will ever be a cowboy to me.

speak for yourself, slim. some of us cowpoke are lookin’ for the right partner to call our own… [twangs acoustic guitar softly as i stare towards the twinkling night sky] don’t see many of them stars where you’re from, eh, city boy? nah. didn’t think so.

burgrs:

"as a straight male, i ppbppbpttt hhptpphhptpp hpbptpphptppthpbbphbh"

posted 1 month ago via zaemeh · © speedwag with 57,899 notes
  • me: here is 300 gold give me your best magic staff
  • walmart cashier: sir for the last time
spooptuplet:

Greg Rivera » Low Brow Jant

spooptuplet:

Greg Rivera » Low Brow Jant

ewok-gia:

*flicks holy water on you* leave

jncos:

*snifts wine* do i detect a hint of grapes?

andro-saurus:

My ideal relationship

andro-saurus:

My ideal relationship

thewicked-eternity